The elderly women of our country often say: “Having one son means having nothing; two sons equals half a son; three sons equals one son.” By this they mean that one son is likely to die in war, and a second to die young, but at least a third son will survive to support his family. The day my brother was born, I remember the elderly women saying I didn’t yet have a brother since I had only one. We regularly prayed to Allah to give us another brother, so at least we could have half a brother [...]

• 1 Comment

I saw the two armed men standing beside my father’s bed. One removed the blanket from his face, holding the gun in his other hand. The other had a machine gun. Suddenly, he woke up. I will on no account and by no means ever forget his anxious look and worried face. Then his expression changed as if he knew what was going on. [...]

• 11 Comments

Out the classroom window, clouds stretched lazily across the sky. I was trying to tune into what my Afghan teacher was saying, but it proved too difficult. Trying to educate myself at an Afghan school seemed to be fatal to my poor brain, and to my self-esteem. I felt like a foreigner in my own country. I struggled to speak my mother language, Dari. On the streets, people seemed jammed together into one huge creature. Dust flew around and shopkeepers shouted. The feeling of not belonging toppled over me like an avalanche. Every part of me longed desperately to go home, back to the only place that made sense to me: The Netherlands.

• 1 Comment

And I feel so young
Pains start growing inside of me
I begin to hear
You have to
have to
have to
I have to live with “have to”

• 6 Comments

When I open my eyes to this world, everyone turns sad.
When they learn my gender, people say oh my God.
When I am small and need my father’s love and kindness, he turns his back on me, giving all his love to his sons instead.
When I speak loudly, everyone tells me “speak softly, it is a shame you are a girl, a girl should speak quietly.”

• 10 Comments

The Dari teacher is late
We call it time to have some fun
We close the class door, taahp
We take the chalk from the desk and start hitting each other

• 5 Comments

The moment I found out I was returning to Afghanistan, I couldn’t stop thinking about my house. I still remember how I used to dream about my home. I remember the day my dad received a phone call from my uncle in Afghanistan asking us to come home, and how excited I was [...]

• 2 Comments

The black wind comes.
I walk two steps
And see the flower the wind has destroyed.
Still try to move forward,
I walk two more steps.
And see the tree in front of me,
Without leaves.
It has lost everything
But still it stands in this black wind.
Still it hopes for new leaves [...]

• 2 Comments