I looked out the window. The sky was gray; it was a nice, rainy day. The weather was clean and not dusty anymore. I could feel the freshness of the air. I was in my office listening to the sound of rain. I love to listen to water fall; it relaxes me. I smelled the ground and the greens. I leaned back, deep in thought, and closed my eyes, listening to the rain, the rain in Afghanistan. I felt delighted that I was in Kabul enjoying the rain. I was thankful to be in my motherland with my family, friends, and fellow citizens.
I remember the rainy sky in the Netherlands and how different it was. The more it rains in Holland, the shinier and cleaner the trees become, unlike Afghanistan, where it is muddy. But beautiful rainy days in Holland could not wash away my loneliness for home. Despite the beauty of Holland’s rain, there was much that was not beautiful.
I still remember going to the Social Help Office and having to explain why I failed to find job. I can still see in my mind’s eye the look of the social worker: surprised and full of doubt. I know she thought I was like other refugees who make excuses in order to get the money from the government. I did my best to convince her that I was sincerely seeking work. But still she had that disdainful look that said: “You didn’t even try to get a job.”
I will never forget that day when the social worker told me: “If you can’t get a job that matches your education, then go and work in a factory.”
“How can I work in a factory when I have law diploma?” I asked her.
She made her eyes bigger and raised her voice. “Your law degree is valid in Afghanistan, not here. This is the Netherlands. We are working and paying taxes so people like you can sit at home and enjoy the easiest way to receive money. Do not try to enjoy government money, which is actually our tax money!”
There was nothing I could do to assure her I was not like that.
But I am home now. And no matter how beautiful the nature of another country, it can never feel as good as the poor nature of my own country—Afghanistan.