Like a child, the girl in the mirror sees the world as my grandmother did.

In my grandmother’s stories, there is goodness and wickedness, but good always triumphs. Good people are always successful. The girl in the mirror is as cheerful as a shining sun and she is able to smile no matter what happens.

When her school was destroyed and she had to stay home during the war she never lost hope. She studied books and developed herself. She could believe in everyone. In her world, everything is brightly colored. The green grass is the earth’s carpet and the blueness is the sky’s cover. She is like a bird flying in the world of dreams. She thinks she can do anything.

I am very different from the girl in the mirror. My world is black and white. I am cold-blooded and pessimistic. Making a decision is very difficult because I fear that whatever I start will not go well. So I don’t want to try.

The people in my country suffer from instability and it is difficult for me to cope with this situation. Many people cannot pay for a better education for their children and the poverty is increasing every day. Thinking about it kills me because I am disappointed that I cannot help.

I see a world of self-interest. Unlike my grandmother’s stories, where good people help you without asking for anything, my classmates only help me when I’ve done something for them. Everywhere seems cold and cloudy. The wind of violence blows everywhere. The trees, the grass, the flowers seem buried as the white clouds and the snow mix together. I am afraid to be in crowds or around people. Alone-ness, that is my best friend.

I am jealous of the girl in the mirror. She is the opposite of me. I wonder how she can be so humble and optimistic. I see her whenever I look in the mirror, smiling at me. She looks just like me, but she is happy and excited, optimistic and hopeful.

We are two sides of the same coin. She looks directly into my eyes and something crosses through them and into my heart. Her self-confidence gives me hope. She tries to make me believe, to make me grow and thrive again. But my vanity refuses her every time.

We are two opposite souls in the same body, always in a struggle. She wants to make me be like her and I want her to be like me. One day, I hope for us to merge into a perfect person.

By Farida

photo: Shah Marai / AFP / Getty Images