Break the Rule


I want to break the rule and say I am in love
My people taught me not to love someone because I am a woman
Because I am a girl
Because of my gender
Because of my culture
Because of my religion
No! God is not against love.
He loves the one who is in love.

I am in Love
I am a girl and I am in love
Let me love the one who I want
Let me choose the one who I love
Let me experience what love is
Let me have something that I want for myself

Men can fall in love but women cannot
We do not have heart?
We do not have feeling?
We do not have choice?
We are not human?

Love is pure
Love is holy
Love is valuable
It is not against the law
It is not against religion
It is not against culture
It is not against humanity

But if it is against the rule
I want to break this rule and say
I am in love

And I love that I am in love

By Rahela

This work was supported by the Fetzer Institute.


  1. Elizabeth Titus says:

    Yes, Rahela!

    Break the rule!

    It is your right. Don’t let anyone stop you.

  2. “Let me love the one I want”….”let me experience what love is’…dear Rahela, I have to say, this is all I’ve ever wanted for decades of my life…I understand you wanting this, and it hurts me that there would be so many cultural and family barriers to this kind of self-actualization., this pursuit of a fundamental happiness… for I fully agree: [God] loves the one who is in love.” This is beautiful work. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. Stacy

  3. Olga Betkhen says:

    Very nice poem Rahela. I totally agree that nationality doesn’t have to be between people who are in love. Each person have to have a right to live/choose a person he want to see next to him. It is really sad that in your culture man has all the power and women have to follow man’s rules.

  4. Suzanne Scarfone says:

    You speak your mind in a way that advocates for the freedom to choose in all things. Love is central to life. It is important. It is valuable. It must be pursued independent of outside strictures. I am happy you are in love.

  5. There is so much exuberance and excitement in this poem — I can feel the love you feel, Rahela! What a beautifully written poem! You are a strong voice for change and I couldn’t agree more that “God is not against love.” Thank you for this heart-felt, passionate poem.

    Love, Nancy

  6. Anita Schmaltz says:

    Thank you, Rahela!

    Even when we think our will is strong, and that we have our own choices in love, there are invisible tensions at work―the standards of my mother, the standards of my father (who in turn were influenced by their parent’s views), or even the standards of myself of yesterday. This poem has helped me recognize some underlying tensions going on with me right now. Tugging at these tensions while trying to move through my life has not been working so well. Because of Break the Rule, I’m going to try your way for a change. Let’s see what happens.

  7. Elisabeth Lehr says:

    Rahela jaan,

    Love is to be embraced and enjoyed. You go, girl!


  8. I love this poem’s spirit and daring. To say “Yes! / I am a girl and I am in love”, to speak the truth that is not supposed to be spoken, to embrace the humanity inside you that the powerful work to deny — these are potent, exciting, necessary acts.


  9. Giovana Rodriguez says:

    This is a lovely poem and I hope that you will continue to write as well as to love, whether it is against the rules in society or not. Love is something that is your right, it cannot be taken away from you. This rule is foolish because god would want for everybody to love each other, not just one gender. How would women be able to give the affection that all children need if we were unable to love?

  10. Myra King says:

    Break the Rule by Rahela
    Rahela, you should be able to love who you want. If you never experience love how will you know what it feels like? I’m glad you are taking a stand to love someone and be in love with them. Being in love is such a beautiful & wonderful feeling, that when you find that special someone to share your life with it best to take a chance on it. God is love and God would not have any objections to you loving that special person in your life. Love is meant to give away, not hold on to it selfishly.

  11. It’s a great poem, but that’s also a nice prayer, and if you hear a music in you, that may be a song.

  12. Suzanne Scarfone says:

    6th Grade Student, Detroit

    I know you are good. Some people do not know how good you are. Be in love, happy and joyful. Say the words, “I love you.” Go, girl, for you and all the girls that are in love.

  13. Suzanne Scarfone says:

    6t Grade Student, Detroit
    I wish you were treated like gold
    I wish you could play in the snow
    I wish you were the brand new you
    I wish you could love who you want
    I wish you knew how much I care.

  14. Katrina B says:

    This poem speaks out. It is sad that these women are not allowed to love. That there fate is decided for them before they even become adults. They do not have the privilege to pick their husbands. They are told who to marry and must obey. You want to tell them to break the rule, but are the consequences worth it? I could not help but to cry reading this poem. I could feel the love and pain in it. The love because she is in love, the pain because she is not allowed to be in love. Those are her rules, that is her life.

  15. Thank you all for your nice comments. Your ideas and encouragements always motivate me to write more and talk about my feelings.

  16. Beautiful poem. I love you sister. You rock.


  17. Fatima H. says:

    “I love that I am in love”. You are such an inspiring woman. I love your honesty, courage, and pureness which I can obviously see through your writing.

  18. April Manney says:

    I feel ashamed that people in my society take “love” for granted. I am heartbroken at the thought of not being about to have the chance to fall in love. I am sorry for this freedom to be taken from you, but inspired by your courage to share your thoughts and feelings with the world. You have opened my eyes by your words and thoughts, and I can only wish that you break those rules! You’re a strong woman and deserve to feel special.

  19. You have the right to choose who you are in love with. I really love your poem and don’t let anyone stop you in breaking that rule.

  20. This poem is like an eye opening poem that will capture more women to fight for their right to seek love instead of love being forced into them, thank you Rahela for such an inspiring poem.

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