Alone Girl Alone

nel

When I am walking in the street
it’s like walking in a dark jungle and knowing wolves are at the ready.
I can feel them looking at me with red eyes
and searching for a moment.

When I am sleeping, I am waiting for someone to come and shoot me
and with the start of each day I am more alone than before.
I am an alone girl
standing among all these wild people
trying to be strong and help them.

They are not wild because they want to be but because they learned to be.
They learned to be cruel
and see an alone girl as a bad girl.
They learned to know her as a danger to their families and daughters,
they learned to see her as someone who sells herself,
they learned to throw her away,
they learned to annoy her, to break her, to leave her and to hate her.
They never thought she is human.
Only and only because she is a girl and her fault is to be alone.
She did not want to be alone;
she did not choose this life and she does not like it
and if she is alone that does not mean she is a bad girl,
it does not mean she doesn’t have the right to leave,
or that she can’t be a part of this society.

Sometimes I am tired of being an alone girl,
I am tired of people looking at me as a bad girl.
I am tired of hearing the bad words
they enjoy when they can’t touch me.
I am tired of them making fun of me so that I don’t go out again—
I am tired of them looking at my body
and separating me from other people with their eyes
I wish when they see me they would give me a small smile—
but I will never accept their hate
and I will never quietly listen to them
and I will never let them to break me
and I will never be silent.

By Masooma

Photo: Nel from the BBC production “Women, Weddings, War and Me.”


Comments

  1. Lyndee says:

    This poem says a lot of things. It highlights on some of the problems that women face today. Sometimes they may feel like they don’t fit in or they are being stared at in a mean way. As I read this I thought about many girls I knew who went through problems in life, and even myself. Nobody is perfect. I really enjoyed the end of this poem because it shows that no matter what anybody says or thinks, she is going to stand strong and she will stick up for what she believes.

  2. Smart Girl

  3. Stunning and heartfelt. I feel for the Afghani women who suffer these injustices day by day. I am so lucky to be an Australian and live in the freedom I have. Thank you Masooma for sharing your poetry with the world, my thoughts are with you…

  4. Dearest Masooma: This poem floors me. I read each line, I imagine each image, and it’s like another arrow to my heart. You write so eloquently. Why should a girl, a woman, not be allowed to be alone? Why must she be harassed, hurt, or worse, because she wants to grow into her full self, because she wants to be her own master? Brava, Masooma, for telling your stories, for sharing your poems.

    Stacy

  5. “Separating me from other people with their eyes” – wow.
    There are so many quotable lines. I guess I am guilty here of separating lines out from the whole poem. But only because they are so stunning. The writing is so affecting. Stacy

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