I start going into silence, making a dream to find you
You are not here to give me peace
To touch my hair and say, “Everything is OK”
You are not here to drink tea with me and laugh at our favorite show

I’m not there to take away your bowl of popcorn and advise you like a doctor,
“Don’t eat, you will get a stomach ache”
Ah, why is there this separation between ‘here’ and ‘there’?

Days pass by in dullness
My heart looks for excuses
Sometimes, I do not want to talk to you because I hate being limited
The online world of Skype makes me miss you more
I see your face like a beautiful painting, but I cannot touch and examine its softness and
every little curve
I cannot kiss your eyes

Then the agony knots in my throat
I hear your sometimes calm, sometimes excited voice, and then I get mad to be away
from you
Frustration resides in my mind when I cannot be blessed by your touch

You tell me you slept on the couch last night
Your neck hurt all the day
And I despise myself for not being there to take your hand and take you to the bed,
Rest your head on my arm, caress your hair, and tell you stories until you sleep

You tell me our house is empty and soulless without me, and I burned in the desire of
being with you
I miss that moment when the two of us open the door and enter our house
Our house is small but with you it is the castle of my life

It’s not your fault, nor mine
The circumstances of life played with us and cruelly made us apart
But no matter how tough are these days, we will be strong
And I will miss your smile
The smile that gives a wife happiness of her life

By Mahnaz

Photo by Pax Populi