What Islam Says about Marriage

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Marriage is the first structure of a family. Islam says that all people should get married. If we don’t get married we will be alone, we won’t have any family, and we will need others’ help all the time. This is like a sickness of the body.

I think Islam talks about marriage more than other religions, and it shows us how important marriage is. Our prophet Muhammad said, “Maybe someone will get married for these four reasons: religion, money, elegance, and esteem, but the best one is their religion.”

Because if anyone has good religion, he or she will think about their religion and family. If they have a very good education about religion, it is the best thing, especially for women. Marriage saves us from bad things and it doesn’t let us commit sins.

God said in the Holy Quran, “I created earth and sky, and I created women and men with their bodies for each other, and animals for their bodies from which you’re to make good generations, and God can hear and see.”

The Holy Quran says everything clearly and explains everything and never says anything without describing. It talks about marriage and shows people how important that is. But many people don’t know about this, because most of Afghanistan’s people are uneducated.

In Afghanistan, we have culture and religion and many people don’t know the difference between the two because they don’t have an education.

For example: A boy and girl love each other. Islam says: “If they’re happy with each other, they can get married and maybe they will have such a good family, because they love each other.”

In my family, and in many families in Afghanistan, when a boy loves a girl, the boy sends his family to the girl’s family. When they know that he is a good boy from a good family, the girl’s family says yes and they can get married. It can be very good without taking money and other things.

When a woman gets married, she is allowed to do what she wants with her own money. She can have a business. She can give money to someone to work for her, or she can give it to her husband to make money for her. But in Afghanistan, many people don’t understand what Islam says about these things and they say that this is not good for women to have their own businesses.

A good and strong woman can make a family, but many people get married and want to make a family without thinking about what a family is. Without having a goal, making a family is like making a house on unsteady land. A family needs a strong mind and strong goals. They will help each other in bad times and they will be happy in happy times, too.

But it doesn’t always happen like that. For example: There was a girl who lived in a poor house. She loved a boy, but he did not love her.  When she spoke to him about marriage, he said to her, “I don’t love you because I don’t know how many other boys you love and I don’t want you.” But she said, “I don’t love anybody other than you and you know me very well. Why are you saying this?”

Then he left her and when her family found out, they gave her to an old man with three wives. Her husband’s other wives hated her; she didn’t know what she should do. One day when her husband was out, her husband’s other wives beat her, and then she locked herself in a room and she burnt herself.

Her husband didn’t know what love is.

In my mind, the first and most important thing between a couple is love. The second thing is trust. Education is important. If the girl’s family had been more thoughtful, they would have asked many questions before deciding her future.

It is very hard to explain to people what our religion is because they confuse it with culture.

Islam says, for example: “Send your children to school.” But some people send only boys to school. This is not what Islam says; this is just the culture.

Islam is a very kind religion. A good husband or wife is like a gift that Islam wants for us. If someone doesn’t want to get married that is not a problem in Islam, but in Afghanistan it is a problem and people say bad things about a person who doesn’t want to get married. We have to teach and show them what Islam is. That is how we can know the right way to make a nice culture.

I hope one day we have good education in this country, to show what religion is, what culture is, and what is most important for us and for our country.

By Mahbooba


Comments

  1. This is a deeply thoughtful essay, Mahbooba. I think you make important points distinguishing culture from religion. You back up these points with poignant examples. You are expressing yourself well here. You should be proud of your writing, and of your teaching, for I know that many who read your work will walk away having learned something new.

    All best,
    Stacy

  2. Elizabeth Titus says:

    Dear Mahbooba,
    Thank you for this essay. I have so much to learn about Islam, and you have added to my knowledge. I now see beauty in your religion, and only wish that this beauty was not distorted and used for other purposes than truth.
    Liz

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