Delaram is a housewife in Kabul.

Friendship for humans, both men and women, is very significant in our lives. Some people may show respect when they don’t really mean it, but friendship comes from the heart.

We have to be kind to those who are kind to us. But in my life, no one but my parents and my children have been kind to me. Sometimes even when you show respect in this culture you will be depreciated. 

Friendship, love, and compassion begin in a family. If you have kind manners with your friends and family everything will be good. But unfortunately there are a lot of arguments going on. If it were possible to solve problems in a good manner there would be no need for fighting and aggression.

We have to forgive others, but in such a way that we also are forgiven. Women have to keep this in mind. If they forgive others more than they are forgiven themselves, they will be trampled on. Sometimes I have forgiven somebody who has been merciful to me. But there have been some large problems I have had to face. These I have forgiven only in words, without sincerity.

I have had experience evaluating love and friendships. I know a family whose mother is very kind and she has wonderful children, while their father is very demanding. I have witnessed how the children have grown up with fear and animosity towards their father.

There are different ways we can show love. When we have lived with someone for a while we share all we have. They understand we love them and they will be happy.

By Delaram as told to Fowzia

This work was sponsored by the Fetzer Institute.