As an Afghan citizen, my dream is always for peace. We Afghans hate the war and conflicts, yet I see the security getting worse day by day in our country. I watch Tolo news on YouTube every day, as I am far away from my country during these elections. 

I watched the news of the execution-style killing of nine people—including foreigners—in a strongly guarded luxury hotel in Kabul during Nowruz on March 21. It is the latest attack by the Taliban to disrupt the elections that will determine our next president. Among those killed was a reporter for a French news agency along with members of his family.

Oh my God, I could not hide my tears while watching the funeral ceremony of the Sardar family and the tragic cries of one of the daughter’s classmates. It was a sad way of celebrating Afghan New Year. It raises so many questions in my mind.

Why must we have this long war in our country? What is the reason for killing innocent people and children? Thousands of our innocent people are killed by suicide attacks. Many families and the younger generation have left the country. Why are the poor the victims of the policies of the warlords?

Can a gunman who attacks innocent people and children be considered human? No, I don’t think so. Who will take the responsibility? The government? No, I don’t think so.

I watched a campaign gathering for one of the candidates presenting his future plan to a large gathering. He promised if elected he will turn his province into a center of industry and power. I wondered if it was realistic? No, I don’t think so.

The current government with millions of dollars and the support of the international community and NATO were not able to fulfill their promises and instead Afghan officials became the most corrupt in the world. How can the newly elected candidate fulfill such promises?

My mind cannot answer all the questions. It is 4 a.m. and I have been awake thinking of all these problems. I hope one day peace will come to our country and we can sleep well and calmly.

By Mariam

The author is living abroad. Photo: Pictures of Afghan journalist Sardar Ahmad of Agence France-Presse and his wife are placed on their graves in Kabul March 23, 2014. Sardar, his wife Humaira, and two of their children, Nilofar, 6, and Omar, 5, were killed during an attack by gunmen at the Serena Hotel.