eyes close up 2

I want to talk about the grief and sorrow of my heart, the grief that with each day grows heavier on my heart.

I am 23 years old and for most of my life, I have lived in the dreams of my childhood, in a life where everything is good. There is no pain, no grief, no sorrow. I’ve spent my whole life playing with dolls and toys, with things that bring happiness and put a smile on my face.

But now as I get older, as I get to know the people in my society and see their real habits, my nice life has started to crumble. Nothing is normal. Nothing is okay. The castle of my beliefs is ruined and when I see these ruins, the world loses its value for me. Observing the people around me has created this question in my mind: Is this life my “right” or is my life to be determined as others feel privileged to decide?

I know that life is a gift of Allah to all humans and all creatures. But today “woman” means a man’s slave; men are owners of women in my country. Men decide a woman’s destiny. But I believe all humanity are God’s creatures and there is no difference among people, except in their faith and honesty, nothing else. We people divided ourselves into tribes and divided men from women. Everyone is so proud to be from a certain tribe or proud to be a man.

When I want to complain or ask for something, people say to me, “Breathing is enough for you. You should be grateful that you are alive, so don’t ask anything more.”

When I think about these things, my heart fills with hot anger. It is the greatest pain and I don’t know how to resolve it.

By Zahra M.

Photo by Rita M.