Mistakes are mistakes, whether one’s commitment is being single or being married. So why is the forgiveness scale not the same for both?
If I committed a mistake when I was in my father’s family, I was just told not to repeat it and I was never reminded of it again. I was not reminded of an instance that would only depress me and bring me down.
But when I make mistakes in my married life, even though I apologize many times and promise not to do it again, they are repeated to me again and again. I do not feel that I need to be reminded of those mistakes over and over. This problem affects my morale and is depressing. I feel pressured and this affects memory, health, and my family. I sit in isolation. I start thinking about only myself and I even feel as if I might launch an attack on my life.
My love for the world, for life, and for family is fading from my heart and mind. There is no one with whom I can share my pain, concerns, and these unforgiven mistakes—things that were not even mistakes in my view. Just because another person does not like some traits does not mean they are a mistake.
Why must this be so? Why can’t couples accept each other’s differences? Humans have different likes and dislikes, different habits and different tastes. It is good that we commit to be together and to make a family. If I have the willpower to see, feel, observe, and still forgive and never keep reminding someone of the things that I do not like, why can’t I hope for the same behavior in response?
The causes of the biggest tensions are the kids. I want to be a good mother, a caring mother, and a role model for my children. They are old enough to understand what we discuss and share. I feel that we should alter our likes and dislikes for the sake of the good it can do for our kids. They are our future; they will be the ones who will keep our good names alive and they will be our ultimate achievement in this world and after death.
For all my life’s Master’s and Ph.D. degrees, the most important degree would be to do a good job for my children. Whatever I do now is for them and to have a stable, happy, and prosperous family.
But for good human beings, forgiveness is the best attribute people should possess. This trait can make a family, a society, a country, and the whole world a peaceful place for people to live together.
Without forgiveness, when mistrust and tension take over, attacks are launched that can lead to disease and death, though no war is declared and no gun is fired.
Photo by Kenneth Taylor, Jr.