Is it a feeling? Is it an environment? Or is it family? I hope it’s family, but I hope it’s environment also. I have been married for one year and I live in a joint family and I’m not sure whether I’m “not happy” or I’m “sick of this life.”

My husband is a wonderful man. He is all my wishes come true. But there are limits in this space. Anything I ask that involves his family is rejected. He cannot reject his family’s wishes; he cannot go against them. He was raised in a conservative way. In his world, his parents are absolute; his parents make the choices for everyone in the family and I am no exception.

At first I thought, “I can handle anything they say or do if I’m with my husband.” But now I don’t know. I don’t know why I cannot handle anything. Sometimes I regret marrying. Not for my sake, but because my husband deserved better, someone who can handle his family without any mistakes. Someone who wouldn’t complain and who wouldn’t mind if she must overwork herself.

I’m just not right for him. I was in love for years and I wanted to be only with him, but never did I consider his feelings. Never did I ask for a minute, “Am I going to keep him happy?”

Have I made the biggest mistake of my life? Not for marrying him, but for making him marry me. Am I person who was so selfish she only thought about herself?

By Anonymous

Photo by Dirk Haas