Being a woman means carrying a phobia—
Being scared of everything:
of darkness, of silent streets,
of being alone on life’s journey,
of a car bell ringing, of knocking
at doors, of glances from men,
from men who look at her only
in wrong ways. Being a woman
means being afraid of sounds,
of someone walking nearby,
of men who harass and touch
her while walking. When they speak,
men call her sister, but they ask her
something else…
Yes, being a woman means carrying
a phobia, a fear of others’ eyes watching
her from toe to head, blaming her
for being a woman, asking her to cover
herself, but staring
at her breasts, thinking
of her back, imagining
her naked
but she, she is always, always blamed—
because she is a woman.
By Sitara
Photo by Michael Foley
Dear Sitara,
Thank you for your beautiful and tender poem.
It is so sad that such poems need to be written, but I am very glad you have written it. I hope all of Afghanistan reads this poem, even all of the world reads it.
You should know that the original sin of man is to blame and hate women. That is the worst sin of all.
Be strong. Love yourself. Love other women and girls. Teach love to boys. Even the men will learn someday.
Dearest Alice,
Thanks for your nice words.
Kind Regerds,
Sitara
Thank you for your honesty, despite the risks
This poem, Sitara. It is stunning, and heart-hurting, and so true, very true. I send love and respect to the men who resist these behaviors. I send even more to you for writing about them, for resisting them in your way. Keep up this beautiful, important work. Stacy
Dear Sitara,
What an incredible poem – you’ve captured the essence of fears while walking and being a woman which are true every second for so many women. Like Stacy, I am grateful for men who resist and those who no longer think to act in these ways. And I am so amazed still by this expressive, realistic poem. You’ve really named the problem. Please, keep writing! We need it!
Dear Sitara,
Your poem is amazing. I felt like I was right there walking with these women. It is so realistic and paints such a vivid picture of what you and other women in Afghanistan must endure. I am so sorry this is your reality. Thank you so much for sharing the pain, hurt, and fear with us. These are things everyone should understand. Please keep writing and instructing us all. We owe you our gratitude.
Elise
Dear Sitara,
This is such a stirring poem — I can feel in my bones the fear of being harmed, of being humiliated, but also the unwavering, truth-telling spirit of a woman in this poem. I know all who read it will recognize that spirit, a spirit that demands and deserves respect. You have a real gift and I’m not worried that you will stop writing because I know you have too many important, honest, revelatory things to say to remain still. It’s always a pleasure to read your words.
All my best to you,
Robyn