Let me grow up
Let me talk, I have lots of words
Let me walk, so I may run and feel the earth

I am a prisoner
Let me see the world, share my pain with all
Let me tell how I am a prisoner for long time

I have wishes
I have dreams as a human being
Let me reach the dreams I lost in war

More than dreams, I lost my identity
Where is it?
How can I find it.
I have been a prisoner for a long time

Let me see the world
Why must I stay in a cage?
The victim of so many rules.
Let me come out from my cage
See the garden of heaven

I am for living, not for beating
I am human before being an Afghan woman
I have been prisoner for a long time
Let me have my life.

By Shogofa

Photo: Behrouz Mehri/AFP/Getty Images

How hard it is always to hide my tears, to bring a smile
to my face. How hard to lose the one I love
and cared for, when I can do nothing to hide
my feelings. I cannot say, I hurt!

—but must always say, I am fine. How hard
it is to understand others’ feelings when I can’t expect
that for myself… I have to be careful not to break
anyone’s heart. It is OK

if I hurt and feel sad. I try to keep others happy—
I was taught never to live for myself, but to teach
other people and think of how to help them.
How hard it is to look at the time.

I don’t how it went so fast! Still behind—
How hard when I can’t stop the moments that mean
the most, when alone in the crowd with everyone,
I am still alone.

By Shogofa

Photo: REUTERS/Yannis Behrakis

I have come from a long way
Talk to me…
I am alone here
No mother, no father, no sister …
I am new in your land.
I bring my country’s story
I am tired from war
My ears are exhausted
I have lost my self
In crowds of people
Please talk to me?
I have come a very long way
Give me a smile?
I am tired of crying
I miss happy times
I miss my mother’s hug
Talk to me … for just a second?
I am new in your land
Hold my hand
Show me the way
I have lots to learn
I have lots to teach my people
Let’s help each other
Bring peace and smiles on faces
I have come a long way
To start my new life
Please talk to me …

By Shogofa

AP Photo/Nathalie Bardou

For my mother on the third anniversary of her death

Today was the day I saw you for the last time.
For the last time, you said goodbye and kissed me.
I heard your voice for the last time,
the day you left me forever.
You taught me who I am—
showed me my way.
I’m so far from you,
yet every moment reminds me of being close.
Today was the day I saw you for the last time—
you kissed me, held and hugged me.
I hoped to see you again, to sleep,
cradled in your arms,
but you left me for last and for ever.
I still wait to see your smile,
but today was the day you left me.
Nights pass, days pass too.
I miss you—can’t say just how much.
Today was the day I saw your face for last and for ever.
I kissed your hands today.
You said goodbye to me, to life,
took my smile with you—
for last and for ever.

By Shogofa

Photo: Chapman H. Hyams mausoleum in Metairie Cemetery in New Orleans, Louisiana, by Kathleeen.

I see someone laughing
Someone caring, someone waiting
Couldn’t describe what love is among all this
Is it hope? Is it an accomplishment?
Or something to wait, to die for?

If love is hope, why is it hopeless?
If love is life, why does it give sorrow?
If love is faith, why the faithlessness?
If love is achievement, why do I fail?
If love is to die for, then how am I alive?

Is love a smile? Then why am I burning in the candle’s flame?
Is love valiant? Then why does it hurt me?
If love is all of life, then why today does an arrow pierce me?
I don’t know if I should laugh, cry, or celebrate
That I lost him.

By Shogofa

painting: Lady of Shalott by John William Waterhouse

For Afghan women, the best times are when they are together and having fun. I remember the day of my brother’s wedding. I invited my friend because it was a good chance for us to see each other. The night of the wedding, we got the bride ready for the party the next day. My mother’s friends were all there and they are like sisters to one another, sharing their sorrow and happiness together. They can’t bear to see each other sad.

That night, I realized my mother was happy and laughing more than I had ever seen her laugh before. She was very funny. She told a story of taking a friend of hers to the doctor once when the friend was sick. The thing is, that friend had never been out of the home before. My mother took her friend all around the city to show her everything. Her friend was totally surprised by all the sights.

At the end, my mother took her into a shop to have ice cream, and there was a mirror on the wall. My mom went outside for a minute and when she came back, her friend was talking to her face in the mirror: “Hi, how are you doing? Are you from the same province that I am?”

She didn’t realize she was looking at herself until she touched the mirror, and then she said, “Oh! This is me!” And then my mother and her friend laughed. My mother’s story made all the women in the room laugh too, even the bride who, in keeping with Afghan custom, had been so sad because she was leaving the family of her childhood to marry into a new family.

In Afghanistan, it isn’t usually possible to have fun with men, and in some families, it’s really hard to laugh in front of men. But when Afghan women get together, they want to be happy and make each other laugh. Though they have much sorrow and worry in their lives, when they gather together at a party, it is a good chance to laugh and have fun with friends.

By Shogofa

I shared friendship with others;
From you, I learned how to love.
I gave that love to others;
From you, I learned faith.

I gave you so many hardships;
You gave me joys of life,
Made me laugh,
Wiped my tears,
Held my hand when I fell,
Made me strong with your guidance,
Understood me when others denied me.

What can I give you in return?
If you want my life, it is yours.
I hear you say quietly:
Love never takes. It always gives.
Still, I want you to know
Your love is my worship.

By Shogofa

I’d like to smile, but I never try
I’d like to have a stuffed bear toy but I never have
I’d like to ride the bicycle but I never tried
I’d like chocolate but I never eat it.
I’d like to live in a house that has a roof, but I never have
I’d like to play ball with my friends but never do
I’d like to have good clothes but never had them
I’d like to go to school but never did
I want a book, I want a pen, I want to read
But I never tried, never tried.

I can live without all life’s enjoyment to make me happy
I can live without a stuffed bear
Or a favorite game
But I want my mom to be fed.
She birthed me but can’t feed me and
She is suffering
I want to feed her, I want to make her happy
So I am seven years old, begging on the street
This is my identity.

Want to take my picture? Pay me for it!
Want to know me? My identity is burned on the street!
My rising hand begs so my family can survive
I want to feed them; I want to give them the good life.

By Shogofa

photo by Shogofa

Today is the day I should put the world at her feet
Drop hundreds of flowers on her path
Today is the day I should put heaven under her feet
Give her all the happiness in the world
This is the day I should put a smile on her face
But how?

Today is the day that I should be with her
I cannot
I am with myself
Alone
With just my tears and her dust

Today is the day I sit with her memory
I kiss her hands,
They are full of my tears… as I sit at her grave

Today is Mother’s Day
She can’t hear me say
Happy Mother’s Day

By Shogofa

photo: Alexandre Meneghini-AP