Boy: “Where are you from?”
Me: “I am from Afghanistan.”
Boy: “Wow, cool.”
The weather is hot today. Why he is saying it is cool? I asked myself.
That was my first day of school when I came to the United States two years ago. I was sixteen and coming to the U.S. fulfilled one of the biggest dreams in my life. I was one of thirty-two students, among more than 4,000 applicants, selected to be part of the Youth Exchange and Study program.
On my second day in the U.S., my host family took me to a football game, and I wondered why no women were playing. After all, it is said that in America, rights are equal. That is when I understood that America is not heaven and has its own problems. This was not the only surprise when I came to the U.S.
The day of my arrival, my host family picked me up and took me to their house. I knew they had two dogs and was told that the dogs were friendly. I was comfortable with dogs in my country so I did not expect to have problems.
My host mom opened the door and suddenly two big bear-like dogs started barking and running toward me. I could not talk for some time because I was so shocked. I thought two bears—not dogs—had jumped on me. (My host family introduced me to the dogs and informed me that one of the dogs was named Bear.) In Afghanistan, a friendly dog is one who minds its own business. Here, I quickly learned, a friendly dog is something quite different!
In the evening, my host family and I went to visit the neighbors. They were really friendly and nice and introduced everyone in the family. Suddenly, their dog came out and they introduced the dog. I was surprised because in Afghanistan we do not name our dogs and we would not introduce them to people.
Making adjustments
On my third day of school I stapled my paper on the right side because we write from the right side in Persian. When the teacher saw me, she said, “It is a stapler,” and showed me how to use it. She asked me if we had staplers in Afghanistan because I stapled my paper on the other side!
Later this day in the hallway, I saw a girl and a guy touching their mouths. I did not have any idea of what they were doing, but thought they were exchanging food with their mouths. “Oh, like birds,” I thought. “The mom hunts for food and brings it to the nest and her chicks eat from her mouth.” I wondered why school students were exchanging food my mouth.
The next class I asked a student who was passing in the hallway, “What are they doing?” He stared at me and asked me to repeat the question. I did and he said they were kissing. I realized that this kissing was different from what we practiced back home. There we kiss on the cheek and it is unusual to see couples even holding hands on the street. I saw my teacher behind me, and in front of me a couple was kissing. I wanted to tell them to stop because the teacher was coming, but could not find the right words. It didn’t matter because the teacher passed me and then the couple and no one said anything. What?
Keeping an open mind
Another strange thing happened a month later. A friend whom I hang out with in school was surprised to discover that I was not a Talib. He said, “Oh, so you are not Talib?” I was amazed by his open-mindedness and wondered how he could hang out with a Talib for a month.
Afterward, a group of Afghan friends and I gathered to discuss our experiences in the United States. When we were giving our presentations, one student asked if we had houses in Afghanistan. We said “no” and after thinking about it, he said, “Oh, cool, so you live in the trees like monkeys.” And he was not joking!
The year 2010 ended with many other stories, and then I went to college. Although I knew a little bit more about the U.S., by now I was sure a lot of interesting things were waiting. It started in the cafeteria when I was explaining to a student that our calendar is different so we don’t use all the same dates that you have. Also the days and night are different, I explained. For example, if it is day here, it is night in Afghanistan. The student then asked “Do you have hours in Afghanistan?”
Land of grass
I did not have a lot of Internet access in Afghanistan, so I did not have a clue what the U.S. would look like. All I knew of the U.S. were the bombings I saw in the streets. I expected to see big rockets ready to fire everywhere and at anything, like huge buildings. I did not expect to see trees and grass. I expected desolation.
I love traveling because when you travel not only do you become open minded, but also you see things from another perspective. Although I thought I would never see grass while I was in U.S., when I came I saw more grass than I have ever seen in my life. In fact Afghanistan is a plain desert now for me.
By Sara
Photo by Rob.Brob

What great stories of cross-cultural clashes! My favorite is, “In Afghanistan, a friendly dog is one who minds its own business.” I was always afraid of dogs when I was a small girl and I would often have preferred Afghanistan’s style of “friendly” dog! You have a very nice way of describing differences while not passing judgement, and I love that pick out particular and small examples that the reader can relate to. I hope that you will continue writing and that you’ll use these same techniques in sharing your country’s story with the world.
Love this essay — it so nicely places us readers in your shoes and what our country, such a new place, must be like to an outsider. And now you are an insider, too, and you can see yourself from that same perspective. Lovely piece.
This story is so unique because you tell us of the American culture compared to your own! The clash between those two, for me, add in humor to your writing because your perception of what some things in human culture are are extremely hilarious! The thought that you had to travel and live in a place that you had no idea what it looked like, as well as how the culture was so much more developed than yours must be an exciting/scary one. It’s nice to know that there are programs that offer housing to kids from Afghanistan to provide a better life, and it is nice to see your reaction from one life to another as well!
oh god ,u had really no idea before u go to USA,which part of Afghanistan ru coming then ?
how can u not understanding kissing and eating :))))
in Afghanistan we have enough family member no need to intorduce naughty dogs :))
good to hear that u made new experince but as u see . they have no idea about us either .they dont know if we are writing or opening our books from right side .
or about calender ,it is really difficult to explain even sometimes to others :)
hope u made more experince but i am sure u have some idea ur not all uninformed.
best of luck
Hey,
I came from Kabul. well, I never see anyone lip kissing in Afg do you? It is a good experience. are you a student too? Yes, I am not uninformed anymore.
Sabera jan,
Thank you so much for sharing your impressions of America. Often we don’t think that peoples and cultures on the other side of the earth have different life experiences than we do. I hope you have enjoyed you stay in the US and have found that we, like all peoples in the world have more in common than differences.
Nice piece; very well-written. I love to read such things and get a glimpse of the world through the eyes of others. It sounds like you had quite an eye-opening experience. I hope you enjoyed your stay… and the the dogs weren’t TOO friendly! It can be annoying when they won’t leave you alone.
Sabera jan,
I love this! You write with humor, insight, and understanding.
It is so true: we are ignorant of cultures other than our own, all of us, but it seems mostly Americans. There is so much to be learned through travel, exchanges such as the one you were part of, and writing.
You have a strong voice and i look forward to more writing from you.
Warmly,
Liz
Dear Sabera,
My name is Carly Muir. I am currently a second year in college in California at Saint Mary’s College. Your story was really touching.
It was really interesting to read how you compared the United States traits to Afghanistan traits. You showed explains how you have things in Afghanistan and how we have things in America. Reading your story helped me learn more about your culture. It must have been difficult at first learning all the things that America had that wasn’t like Afghanistan.
Like you stated at the end of your story, it is good to be open-minded when you are traveling because you get new ideas and learn about a new culture. It was good to read that you kept your mind open. Best of luck to you! Keep writing and never give up! Remember to be open-minded wherever you go.
Sincerely,
Carly