The first time I put my feelings and thoughts on paper I was fourteen years old and a guest had come to our house from the village. There were no schools in the village then. People were uneducated and many village people associate having a son in the family with honor and power, while daughters are considered a weakness and sometimes a shame in society. My parents have four daughters, me and my three sisters, and our parents never feel shame; they are proud of us.
That day we were having lunch with the villagers when one of the women asked my mother how many children she had. My mother proudly answered that she had four daughters. The woman was shocked and said to my mother: “You are an unlucky woman for having daughters but no son.”
I was hurt when I heard this and so was my mother. I saw from the expression on her face that it depressed her. I left and went to my room. I was confused and I wanted to unleash my feelings. I was worried about how my mother was feeling.
I was thinking about crying when a pen and piece of paper caught my attention. I started writing to calm myself and express my feelings. This may have been the best decision I ever made in my life.
I wrote about how both genders have an equal right to respect, value, and honor. I wrote that having a daughter should not be shameful because men and women both have special abilities and we should respect both as equal on this earth.
I wrote and wrote, and I was surprised to see that I had filled three pages. I felt better. By then the guests had left and my family members had gathered together. My mother was still sad and I worried about her. I thought about what I had written and without hesitation I went to my room, got the pages, and sat next to my mother and read them aloud to her.
She listened carefully. When I finished, she hugged me and kissed my forehead. She said she felt blessed and calmed and proud. She encouraged me to keep writing so that I would be an even better writer one day. I was so happy for my mother in that moment. Once again, she was smiling.
Now I am twenty years old, and I believe writing can be a proud experience that can make you strong even if you are only writing a friendly letter or an essay for school. It is a powerful feeling to write something of your own and send your feelings, thoughts, and ideas out into the world.
Photo by Laura’s Eye
You have shown clearly how much power there is in the written word — how getting our feelings out onto paper can make us happier and calmer, and can help those around us too. No wonder your parents are so proud of you! Thank you for sharing your wonderful story of how you became a writer. I hope you’ll never stop sharing your strong words with the world.
It is amazing what a pen and paper can do, if a person is lucky enough to be near pen and paper – and be inspired to start writing as you were. It makes me happy that you were able to help your mother, and that you are still writing.
Great and wish you all the best.
I love your determination, you have a strong heart and family. Keep up the wonderful writing look forward to reading more. Sue x
I’m glad to read a very emotional piece of writing by you. I still kept all the letters that you wrote for me at school. When I compared them to this article; absolutely your writing has been improved. Congratulations jan.
Thank you for sharing your feelings.
Keep it up!
I really appreciate your thought and wish you have a great future with writing. our thoughts and our writing is our future, and our voice. keep it up!!!
This story makes me so happy. I started writing when I was younger to express my feelings and it made me feel better and inspired me to continue with it in my life. I’m so happy that your mother supports you and your writing. She is very lucky not only to have daughters but also have a talented and caring daughter like you. I hope you continue to write.
It makes me happy that you found the freedom that writing can give you! I started writing at a young age as well, because I did not know how else to process the things that I was going through. Words are powerful and writing is an amazing gift. I hope that you continue!
The story generalizes the stereotype of how women who have daughters instead of sons, are unlucky. In the society that Kochay lives in, women including small girls face a copious amount of oppression compared to males. In this story, however; Kochay shows a sign of hope and strength by saying their family did not categorize themselves under this stereotype. Instead, her parents were proud and blessed to have four daughters. What really caught my eye in this story is when a lady living in the same village called Kochay’s mom an unlucky woman because she had four daughters and no sons. We see that she did not regret saying this or even feel bad. This shows how it was a regular thing in that society to shame women and their lives. It is very brave of you to let others know about your story and show to them that you resolved your tensions by writing down your thoughts on a piece of paper. The amount of determination you had to argue that both genders are equal and should not be treated differently, is truly couraging. Towards the end of this story, I liked how you included your mother’s thoughts on you doing this because it symbolizes how your family did not fit in with the “boys over girls” stereotype. I hope you continue to keep writing and let others know how you feel.
A impressive piece of writing. From your words, I found a tragic fact appeared in Afghanistan:Ironically, female would support the tradition that defined them as inferiors—a kind of brainwash? However, distinct from others who obeyed their “destiny”,you and your family turned to resist it. When others claimed that you and your sisters are misfortunes, your mother objected them and declared she’s proud of you. I agree with you, in most occasions writing would be a effective way to release (negative) emotion and express ideas. It’s fortunate that even in a environment with stereotypes, your family still haven’t surrender and they shaped you in a the way a fair-minded person should be. Though your words might won’t be wide spread, but your efforts and your awakeness wouldn’t pass into silence.
This story shows how society acts in many ways. The fact that a woman you barely knew felt the need to call your mother “unlucky” shows how women were, and still are, portrayed as inferior compared to men. People may have strong opinions but never let them get to you, you are not less than a man and you never will be; Women can do things just as well, if not better, as men can. Your parents felt proud of their four daughters because they understood that just because you four are not men, you are still fully capable and perfect to them. You show strength and courage in your writing and your passionate argument of gender equality is inspiring. I hope you keep writing in the future, as it is a great outlet of emotions and your words can change perspectives and lives.
The story you are trying to us is so simple but enough to show the problem the society have. I’ve heard about the stereotype of woman before, but it never come to my life before. Rather than live under it for 15 years like what you have experienced, I am so lucky to live having the equal right with men. Your story brings me face the actual problem we still have in our society. I like how you say you parents are proud you, it seems so weird to that villagers, and maybe even a lot more people, but it’s normal in my life. I’m lucky to know what circumstance women are in in another side of world. Your parents are perfect, and you are the proud of them, there is no doubt. I hope you will keep writing, I’m willing to know more about your life. It’s not only an outlet of emotions for you, but also a chance to study for me. Boys never go beyond over girls; we are all strong!
Kochay, your story was so encouraging! You also showed the society that gender stereotypes are wrong and people should try to get rid of it. I assume that you must be really upset when the woman called your mom “unlucky woman.” I like that you are proud of yourself and I am also proud of you! I totally agree with your opinion that men and women should be treated equally. Also, I am sorry to hear the hard times you went through while writing your story, but everyone who reads your story will be encouraged and be proud of you! Lastly, I want to say you that you are worthy enough to be respect regardless of gender. Thank you so much for sharing your story and I agree that it was the best decision that you started writing:)
Thank you so much for writing this essay! It makes me so happy that your parents are so loving and proud of all four of their daughters, unlike the horrible people you described who view daughters as a burden and their sons as an asset. As you said, that is entirely wrong! Daughters and sons are both precious and important and must be treated lovingly as such. In that same sense, I agree with you that men and women are equal, I really hope everyone in the world can begin to think this way as well. Your family seems wonderfully supportive, and I am very glad that you have found a way to express yourself and to make yourself feel better. Writing is truly amazing and helps people so much by allowing them to understand their feelings! And your writing in particular is amazing. You are a really good writer 🙂 This essay that you wrote has really helped me to understand and to emphatize with your situation. Thank you so much for sharing your story and I hope that people will change their views about their daughters! I hope you are doing well also. Your story will really encourage and empower many women and girls in the future.
I am proud to say that your writing has influenced many people, including myself, to be more aware of the gender stereotype that your villagers have resorted to. I agree that your decision to write your feelings out on paper is a really good way to write out your thoughts for the public view. I wish that people do realize that men and women should not have inequality and that women are just as powerful as men. Your mother is proud of you and your sisters and I like her mindset. She has such an amazing daughter as you. Your family is not unlucky to have been all daughters; in fact, I believe that the opposite has happened. Your writing is inspiring to read and you have also shown a strong example of what the stereotyping is like. I adore that you knew that it would be disrespectful to lash out about the gender insults, so instead you decided to keep away to calm down. I also adored that your mother was still feeling down after the comment, so you decided to show that you were not put down and decided to still keep a good mentality to be strong. Keep writing wonderful pieces of literature!
Reading this story I can feel the pure passion you have. You had the strength to disagree with the societal norms and write about their faults. At a young age, it is inspiring and admirable that you choose to speak so complexly about the issues in a place that you would call home. It is difficult to disagree with anything that you love, so I find it amazing that you wrote about the place that you raised and questioned its ideals. This story shows your intelligence and confidence that you had at a young age and how you faced experiences that not every 14 year old girl has. It is impressive that you had the confidence in yourself to come to your own conclusions and opinions. Being a woman and being told that you are weak and not valuable to your family, and then writing pages and pages of how you are strong and valuable is extremely courageous. The defying of those ideals is a perfect representation of how strong young girls are. Writing about this seems therapeutic and a necessary deed and it is amazing that you have found writing and have used it in a powerful way.
Writing down one’s feelings is an amazing way to relieve stress and express anything that you’re thinking. A simple pen and paper can provide an amazing opportunity to clear the mind by allowing all thoughts and feeling to flow onto the paper. The fact that there are still so many people who don’t accept that men and women hold equality with one another is saddening. The world needs to wake up and see that we are all equal here no matter what. Everyone holds equal value and your writing is a step towards the equality so many people have longed for.
Kochay, not only did your story bring light to how normalized inequality is in certain cultures, but you also really emphasized the power of the written word. It was really touching how you were able to comfort your mother through your writing and thoughts, even though the both of you were hurt after someone had said it was “unlucky” to be a mother of four daughters and no sons. The fact that it was another woman who made this remark just shows how deeply ingrained inequality is rooted in the culture, and I cannot imagine having to live with such injustice surrounding me. Even now, as a sixteen-year-old female, if someone had told me how weak and invaluable I was to society, I would not have had the confidence or courage to disagree with them. The strength you have to diverge from cultural norms at such a young age, especially while being part of the oppressed, is immense, and I admire you for that. You are right – writing is such a powerful tool, and I hope you continue to find strength in unleashing your feelings and ideas into the world.
Thank you for teaching me how powerful words can truly be. It’s so incredible to know that just a pen and paper can change someone’s life so much. The part in this essay that stood out to me the most was when you read your writing to your mother. I loved how kind hearted your mother was even though she was hurt by the other woman’s words. I love that she read between the lines of her daughter’s writing and encouraged her to keep writing. I think that that alone shows the power behind words. It is so special that you were able to share your first piece of writing with someone that you cared for. In addition, it was so great that you were able to help your mother look past what the other woman had said to her and allow her to open up about how she felt. This is a touching story, as it speaks about the inequality in society. I think that this story addresses the effect society has on families perfectly. Throughout the story, you emphasize the normalization of being shamed for having daughters in society. No one should ever have to feel belittled because of their children. Your writing was truly inspiring. I wish you the best and hope you keep writing powerful stories like this one.
Like you, I feel that writing whether to myself or to the outside world is a comforting way to express emotions as you don’t necessarily need to face anyone but it is just you and the paper. Venting problems to a paper is a healthy way to heal in my opinion as you have done here, but you are particularly strong as you are in such an overwhelming environment and it seems that you are still controlling your emotions in a very mature manner. I think your voice is very powerful and you can be able to enable many others to write just like you. Beyond your show of importance in writing, the message in your writing defines a much larger problem happening in your country which is gender equality. In comparison though, the western world in many ways still has not brought equality amongst the races and gender alike but your response to the situation is powerful because it shows the imbalance and animosity that you and your mother have faced after the comment shaming you guys for having four daughters. Your writing shows that words can help heal as can be seen with how proud your mother was for your writing. I hope that your love for writing will be shared and you will be saved from the inequality in your world.
Thank you Kochay for sharing your feelings about writing, and how it helped you deal with a time you felt discouraged. Some of my relatives also faced a similar situation to you, where they were told that having daughters is less lucky than having sons. As a part of the ancient Indian society, girls were supposed to be less capable than men, so I understand how you felt during that time because when I heard this story from my family, I was also saddened to hear this. I also agree with you that writing is a great way to unleash emotions and express your thoughts and feelings. Whenever I feel sad, frustrated, or stressed out about something I write it out so that I can unleash my emotions. I hope that you keep writing and inspiring people with it!